Smashed
by Olive Tree Hugger
Summary: The gAang has headaches, and Zuko tastes onions and bananas. What the heck happened to them last night? Based loosely off of "Last Friday Night" by Katy Perry


"_Give me a second I, I need to get my story straight." –We Are Young by fun._

* * *

Aang hadn't felt this nauseous since he was being pressured into killing the Fire Lord. The young man sat up with a labored grunt, and started rubbing his bald head. His head was pounding like someone hurled a boomerang at it.

_Wait…boomerang… _He thought. In realization, he started looking around his surroundings, searching for his tanned, boomerang-wielding friend.

He found himself perched on a boulder, sitting at the edge of a narrow river. He saw a heap of bodies peacefully sleeping in the grass. He found Momo, his pet lemur, on his back as well, napping contently.

Aang used his air bending to jump off of the boulder and landed on his two feet before yelping in agony. He fell back onto his bottom. A numbing discomfort shot up through the Avatar's leg; he clutched it and groaned.

"What happened to me?" He asked himself. _I don't know, don't ask me!_ His brain answered, _I took off last night._

Aang rubbed his foot this time and slowly tore his boots off of his feet. The sight was nasty, yet, interesting. A pentapus had managed to wrap its tiny tentacles around his toes and clung for dear life. When he stepped on it, it must have tried to bite him.

Rubbing his finger on the top of the pentapus's head, Aang ripped the aquatic animal off of him and tossed him gently into the river.

Then Aang started searching for his air glider. He quickly spotted the staff the arms of Appa, his pet bison. Appa was sleeping on his side, the glider wedged between two of his toes. The Avatar had trouble yanking it out but was able to get it by tickling Appa's underbelly, causing the bison to loosen his grip and rumble in his sleep.

Once that was over, Aang started searching for his friends.

"Sokka… Katara…. anyone?" He called to the heap of sleeping people. They were all snoring away. Upset and aggravated with his headache, Aang slapped his air glider on the ground and discharged a gust of wind that knocked them all in different directions; not enough to hurt them, but enough to shake them awake.

Aang ran his eyes over the figures and deduced that they were indeed his friends: Sokka, Katara, Zuko, Toph, and Suki.

They all grumbled in pain, but of course Sokka took the initiative of complaining the loudest. He whined, "Owww, my head!"

Aang frowned and pointed at his own cranium. "Hey, you're not the one with a bruise shaped like a boomerang on your head!"

Sokka's face went pink and he apologized sheepishly, "Sorry, buddy." But then he realized something.

"MY BOOMERANG!" He freaked out and began frantically searching everywhere.

The rest watched him as he poked Momo awake and accused the confused lemur of stealing his weapon. Katara watched in pity as the mammal started to cry in guilt; she pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to calm everyone down.

"Guys, I'm sure everything is perfectly fine. Everything has a logical explanation here, I'm sure of it. We just have to find out where we are!" She claimed.

Zuko sat up and scratched his head of black hair. It hung over his eyes in its shaggy look, meaning he was missing his crown. He groaned in annoyance. Suddenly, something moved beneath him and he found Toph crushed underneath his body.

"Ahem, _Fire Lord Sparky_, would you mind getting your royal hide off of me?" She sneered.

The young Fire Lord jumped off of the blind girl and spoke softly, "Sorry, Toph."

He offered to help her up but she used her earth bending to send a rock flying into his gut. He doubled over and clutched his stomach. Toph, now standing on her own feet, patted Zuko's head and giggled,

"There, now we're even."

Zuko sighed in response.

Katara shook her head at Toph's rudeness and called to her friends, "Okay, everyone, if I'm correct, we all have headaches. I think might be able to heal that."

Her brother Sokka slumped his shoulders and asked, "Anyone know how we got these headaches?"

Aang smacked his lips and responded, "My mouth tastes funny." He suddenly belched and continued, "Hm. Tastes like cactus juice."

The Fire Lord stepped up and muttered in disgust, "I taste onions and bananas."

The self-proclaimed leader, Sokka, held his arms up and declared, "I think I know what happened last night!"

Toph wriggled her toes and said, "Sokka, you aren't totally sure, are you?"

He hung his head in shame. "No."

Zuko said in his raspy, beautiful voice, "Sokka lost his boomerang, I can't find my crown, and we should focus on finding those."

"But how?" Asked Suki. She leaned against Sokka's arm. Sokka grinned in arrogance.

Aang rubbed his chin. "Well, didn't you say your mouth tasted like onions and bananas, Zuko?"

The Fire Lord nodded in affirmative. Aang suddenly had an epiphany; a metaphorical light bulb lit over his head.

"Hey, I know where to find some onion-banana juice! Everyone," He called excitedly, "Follow me!"

Aang rushed up to Appa and swirled up in a gush of air onto his pet's head. He took hold of his reins and encouraged everyone to follow his lead.

One by one, the gAang climbed onto Appa. Zuko pulled himself into the bison's saddle and reached down to help the next person. He was surprised and pleased to see Katara taking his hand. He smiled at her warmly.

Katara raised an eyebrow at him and asked quizzically, "Why are you smiling at me?"

Zuko blushed and pulled her into the saddle, leaving her to fall smack dab on her face. Katara sat up and rubbed her nose, groaning.

Sokka noticed this and cooed teasingly at Zuko, "Smoochy, smoochy, someone's in _love!"_

The Fire Lord ignored the boy and helped Suki and Toph in. Suki crawled next to Sokka and laid her head in his lap.

Toph, being blind and afraid of flying, clung to Zuko's muscular bicep and warned him, "Don't let go of me or you get a boulder the size of Appa shoved up your ass."

Aang looked back and chastised her gently, "C'mon, Toph, that's no way to talk to the Fire Lord."

With that, he whipped the reins and beckoned, "Appa, yip yip!" Immediately, the bison took flight and soared into the air.

Zuko smirked in thanks and said, "It's compulsory to bow to the Fire Lord, Toph. You don't want to go to jail, do you?"

Without looking at him, the twelve year old shoved her index finger into his cheek and growled, "Don't upset me, Sparky."

Katara shook her head and absentmindedly smiled.

Suki spoke from her place in Sokka's lap, "Guys, if we're going to figure out what happened, we should retrace our steps."

"Good idea, Suki." Aang said from his place on Appa's head, "I'm pretty sure I remember being at Zuko's welcome party in Ba Sing Se."

"Oh, yeah. Uncle invited us to his tea shop for something called 'karaoke'." Zuko recollected.

The gAang nodded in agreement. Then Sokka added, "I remember seeing Hawky."

Katara rolled her eyes, "You _always _think you see Hawky. News flash, Sokka. All messenger hawks look the same!"

Sokka furrowed his eyebrows and retorted, "No, my instincts told me it was Hawky. He even gave me a message."

Suddenly, his eyes widened in recognition and he stuffed his hand into the pocket of his tunic. He pulled out a crinkly piece of parchment. He unfurled and read it.

"It says it's from Guru Pathik." He read. He looked up at the Avatar, "Aang, isn't that Pathik you met with to help you master the avatar state?"

The boy nodded and shouted excitedly, "Yup, that's where we're headed! The Eastern Air Temple!"

Appa rumbled in happiness. Aang pet the bison's head and chuckled, "Appa's happy about seeing him again."

Zuko asked confusedly, "How does a guru get a messenger hawk?"

Katara scoffed, "Why don't we ask Sokka's instincts?"

* * *

"_Please don't tell me that we had that conversation. I won't remember, save your breath, because what's the use?" – Sober by Pink_

* * *

Within the hour, Aang flew them safely to the beautiful galore of the Eastern Air Temple. Toph fell off of Appa's back and lay affectionately on the ground, sighing, "Ahhh, earth. _Sweet earth_."

Zuko stepped over her and made his way towards the main gate. "Aang, you said this guy had the answer to my onion and banana breath?" He asked.

The Avatar nodded and pointed to the pinnacle of the temple. "Come on, guys." He recruited, "Let's find Guru Pathik!"

The young boy snapped out his air glider and flew his way up to the structure, while the rest of the gAang followed on foot.

Aang soared about the terraces of the temple until he found a brown-skinned individual meditating in a fountain.

"Guru Pathik!" He called from above. The bearded man looked up and grinned. "Hello, Avatar Aang!" He answered.

"I found him, guys!" He shouted to his friends before landing gracefully on the tile.

Guru Pathik stepped out of the fountain and bowed in respect, "Good to see you're back, Avatar."

Aang bowed in return and agreed, "It's been much too long, Guru Pathik."

Pathik raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean, Avatar? You and your friends were here just yesterday!"

On cue, the gAang appeared in the corridor. Sokka asked, "So Aang, this is Pathik, huh?"

"Why of course, I am, Sokka." Pathik said, "You met me yesterday!"

Sokka's jaw dropped. "What?"

Pathik ignored his confusion and took a step toward Zuko. "Ahh, yes, you're the angry one who liked my onion and banana juice. Welcome back, Fire Lord." He bowed to him.

Zuko blinked twice before a thought occurred to him. He smacked a palm over his forehead. "Oh, right! I drank a whole jar of it!"

Aang's mouth turned up in a grossed out sneer. "Ew, _why?_"

Both Pathik and Zuko just stared blankly at each other before shrugging.

Katara raised a question, "Hold on, what does this have to do with the messenger hawk?"

Guru Pathik nodded in apprehension and whistled abruptly. A squawk sounded in the air and within seconds, a brown hawk flew onto Pathik's head. There was a golden plate in the shape of a flame attached to its leg.

"My crown!" Zuko shouted. As he ran towards the bird, it screeched like a harp and flew towards Sokka.

Sokka was in love. His eyes widened and glistened. He sniffed, as though the hawk was a long lost friend. He held his arms out and beckoned,

"Come here, Hawky. Come to Papa!"

Suki rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's ridiculousness.

Pathik explained, "You all appeared in the temple this previous evening. You were rather inebriated."

"We were what?" Aang asked.

Toph crossed her arms over her chest. "We were smashed." She explained bluntly.

Aang blushed in understanding.

Katara's eyes widened in disbelief. "Even me?" She asked. She always thought of herself as the innocent one.

Pathik chuckled at her "Oh, you were the most unsettling, young water bender. You were plastered to the Fire Lord in a way most un-ladylike."

Katara blushed and Zuko tried unsuccessfully to hide his grin. He felt a jab in his shoulder and turned around to find Sokka glaring at him.

"Stay away from my baby sister!" He seethed.

Zuko justified, "Hey, _she_ came onto _me_." He was still grinning even when Sokka plunged his fist into his arm. He snuck his arm around Sokka's shoulder, where Hawky perched, and tore the crown from it's feathers.

Aang scratched his bald head, puzzled. "Wait, why were we here?" He questioned.

Pathik replied, "You came here to thank me for finding your bison. And then you all proceeded to spar with each other."

Katara, still mortified with the way she acted towards Zuko last night, asked, "We were fighting?"

Pathik responded, "Yes, very violently so. It must have been from the cactus juice."

Toph nodded, "Yeah, our mouths all had that crappy aftertaste."

"Except mine." Zuko added quietly.

The guru nodded, "Yes, you were also covered in sand."

Aang gaped. "We were in the desert, weren't we?"

Being the newest addition to the group, Suki asked, "What desert?"

"While we were on our way to Ba Sing Se the first time, we got lost in a desert." Katara replied helpfully.

And Sokka added, "Me and Momo got high on cactus stuff."

Aang bowed to the guru in respect and thanked him for his help. Within minutes, the gAang was re-perched on Appa and they ascended into the blue sky.

Toph, still clutching Zuko's arm for dear life, asked, "Where are we headed now, Twinkle Toes?"

Aang replied, completely ignoring the nickname, "Back to Ba Sing Se. We'll ask Iroh what happened."

Zuko agreed, "Uncle's always level-headed, he'll know for sure."

* * *

"_We're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical."- 22 by Taylor Swift_

* * *

As soon as the gAang popped into the Jasmine Dragon, Iroh's teashop, they were greeted by uproarious applause. The patrons and tea servers even gave them a standing ovation.

The teens were both confused and pleased. Aang muttered, "They're probably congratulating us on ending the war."

A man in blue started to scream and sob. His mouth started to foam, and then he collapsed. No one paid attention to him.

Zuko asked, waving to the crowd, "Where's Uncle?"

Promptly, the elder appeared from the back room and beamed with glee at the sight of his nephew. Zuko smiled back and hugged Iroh, before pulling back and asking,

"_What the Hell_ happened to us last night?"

Iroh chuckled. "Come with me, children."

As they walked into the backroom, the crowd cheered and whooped.

Toph stayed back and thanked them, "Thank you! Thank you! We're better than you!"

Katara reached through the curtain and yanked Toph in with them.

The elder had them sit around a large tea table and served them his own favorite, ginseng tea. After pouring them their beverages, he sat on a cushion and began reminiscing.

Katara would soon recall the _almost _one-night stand she had with Zuko. Toph would remember falling off of Appa as they tried to land in the middle of a forest near the city of Omashu. Sokka would think of the cacti he cut open to quench his thirst on their juice, and then chucking his boomerang at Aang's head. Zuko would swallow down his vomit when he recalled trying to kiss Jun's shirshu. Aang would slap his own forehead when he evoked the memory of singing opera with the Ember Island Players. Suki would be ashamed to call to mind that she mooned a statue of Avatar Kyoshi.

But most of all, Momo would regret having dropped a bushel of catnip in the pot of tea Uncle made for them yesterday night.

* * *

**Catnip. Fun, yummy, and magical. Ingest too much and you go cactus-juice nuts. Review!**


End file.
